There is a still a stigma attached to snoring. Once unmasked as a snorer, people often take the mickey out of you. Even more worrying, having a snoring partner is often considered a relationship killer. However, it is not only important for the sake of your partnership that one talks openly about snoring, the disturbing, often very loud snoring noises, can lead to health problems for both the snorer and their partner. Here is some guidance on how to approach this sensitive topic ,so that you don’t have to go as far as desperately googling “my partner snores and I can’t sleep” , while tossing and turning beside them.

Does the following statement apply to you: “My husband snores” or “My wife snores”? Then you are not alone! In every sixth partnership, a snoring partner is (often indirectly) the cause of arguments and relationship problems. We all know that a lack of restful sleep leads to an even worse mood. Thus arguments are almost inevitable. In addition, a lack of sleep can also cause health problems. According to a survey, 70 percent of all people whose partners snore lose about two hours of sleep every night.

Too little sleep can lead to fatigue and daytime sleepiness as well as morning headaches and psychological problems. Therefore, it is important to do something about and raise the topic of the nightly snoring nightmare.

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Talk is cheap, but silence is golden?!

One’s initial reaction to a snoring partner is usually to find the simplest way to avoid being disturbed by their snoring. The spontaneous solution is usually to nudge them or wake them up. However, this is not optimal solution, as it also disturbs the snorer’s sleep rhythm, as well as that of their partner’s. Often earplugs or separate beds are considered as short term solutions, but in the long run they are not ideal. Ideally a compromise needs to be found and this requires an open discussion.

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Tips for a constructive conversation when your partner snores

Who wants to hear that a night together is not restful? That your very loud snoring prevents others from the necessary peace and quiet they require for a revitalizing sleep? Therefore, the issue of snoring needs to be addressed in a very delicate manner.

1. Try not to make any accusations. They often lead to misunderstandings and are quickly dismissed. In many instances a partner will respond with, the sentence “I have never heard that I snore before”. Here, for example, you can suggest snoring apps that record your snoring partner.

2. It is however advisable and indeed very important that your partner is aware that they are being recorded and agrees to it. It is inadvisable to simply record their snoring without their permission and against their knowledge. Doing so could lead to your partner feeling betrayed.

3. Make it clear to your partner how much their snoring burdens you. Tell them that you no longer feel rested and can hardly sleep properly. Explain that their snoring can affect your health in the long term. After all, the disturbances caused by their snoring leads to a less than optimal sleep duration for you each night and that takes it’s toll in the long run!

4. Also, tell your partner that you are worried worried about their health. Snoring can be associated with sleep apnea syndrome (OSAS) or it can develop into a pathological form of snoring. Douglas Bradley, head of the Toronto Rehabilitation Institute and Toronto General Hospital Sleep Laboratory, estimates that one in five snorers will sooner or later become an OSAS sufferer. If you notice interruptions in your partner’s breathing whilst they snoring at night, this may be an indication that they suffer from OSAS.

5. Make constructive suggestions to improve the situation. For example, you could complete a questionnaire on sleep diagnostics on the Internet together. In addition to the general questionnaires that only distinguish between habitual snoring and OSAS, there are also those that offer individual suggestions for possible anti-snoring methods. Take this snoring test, to assess your snoring type and find a suitable solution.

6. Suggest sleep therapy. This includes, for example, not drinking alcohol before going to bed or eating a healthier diet and exercising. Such measures work best if you tackle them together.

7. Try finding suitable snoring aids together. You are welcome to have a look at the wide range of products that SomniShop offers.

8. Suggest visiting a doctor if you are unable to manage your snoring partner yourself.